Betrayal is painful. I know. I’ve been there. I am still in the process of healing and restoration, so I won’t be going into any details about what happened. But I can share some things I learned. How we respond to betrayal influences to what degree there will be healing in our own hearts and restoration in the relationship.
Choose to say nothing until you have had time to think. It is important to ask our self what we want as the outcome. If we aren’t sure, then a little bit of space may be in order. Not forever space, just a time and place to think and pray.
Draw close to God. Grieve our loss in His arms. Seek his wisdom when our ability to think straight is shot. Rely on His strength when our own is zapped. We cannot walk this road alone.
Take an honest look at our own life. We are not responsible for the other person’s actions, yet our actions and attitudes may have provided an atmosphere that nurtured the other person’s bad choices. If we want our hearts restored it’s important to allow God to change our hearts, not just keep blaming the other person.
Understand what is driving the other person towards their actions of betrayal. This is not an excuse for their behavior. They are still responsible for their own choices, but the compassion that comes from understanding makes room in our heart for healing and forgiveness.
Confront the issue and do not attack the person. There will come a time to address what happened. Keep in mind that Christ died for ALL our sins, including the betrayal foisted upon us. If the person is not repentant and the actions of betrayal continue, apply healthy boundaries with compassion.
Choose to forgive. We usually don’t feel like forgiving. It most often comes as a choice of the will. This is not letting the other person off scot free. It is giving them to God and breaking the chains of bitterness which fester and color everything in our life
Seeking counsel from a Christian professional is a wise step to help us through this process but the most critical action we can take when betrayed is to keep our eyes on Jesus. He will walk with us through it all.
Have you discovered an important step to approach healing after betrayal?
About the Author:
Angela D. Meyer lives in Omaha, NE with her husband of more than twenty-two years. She homeschools their daughter and recently graduated their son who is now a Marine. She taught Bible class for over thirty-five years and served for over two years on the leadership team of her local Christian writers group. Her debut novel, Where Hope Starts, is a finalist in the Grace Awards. She loves God and her family and enjoys good stories, connecting with friends, quiet evenings and a good laugh. Someday she would like to vacation by the ocean and take a ride in a hot air balloon.
More About Where Hope Starts:
In a city full of dreams… Karen Marino’s life is a nightmare. The New York City restaurant manager is a professional success, but her marriage is in shambles. When her husband, Barry shows up drunk at her restaurant, she loses both. She flees The Big Apple and returns to her Midwestern home to sort through her options. But instead of answers, she finds an old boyfriend ready to rekindle romance, a family full of secrets and an angry brother bent on revenge.
Still in New York, Barry fights his own demons. He knows he messed up, but is powerless to stop his rage and addictions. A fistfight on the streets of the city lands him in jail and forces him to face the possibility of a future behind bars.
Karen knows holding onto her bitterness won’t repair her marriage. But how do you forgive someone when you don’t feel like it? As she searches for the answer, she uncovers the family secret that threatens to tear them all apart. Can she find her way back to the place Where Hope Starts?
View the trailer for Where Hope Starts.